Adventures in Love

You know when your day is going amazing and you're on cloud nine with happiness and you think nothing can go wrong? Well I recommend never opening a dishwasher on days like that. I opened mine and not that I was really surprised at this point but the dishes yet again weren't even close to clean. That was it! I couldn't take it anymore. So our adventure begins......

Off we headed to Home Depot after a discussion of how awesome this was gonna be. We were going to tackle our first major appliance replacement totally on our own. Now I'm not a moron and neither is he so I figured we totally had this covered. Well.......I may have been slightly wrong.

We got a smoking good deal on a Fridgedaire Gold Series with all the bells and whistles. I wasn't about to walk out that day without a dishwasher in tow since we had borrowed a friends truck to go shop for one and bring it home so we accepted the floor model and an additional discount for that one.

Turns out that discount w…

Love is a Battlefield

On a daily basis I learn more about my sheepdog soldier. Our Easter was not exactly what I would consider good and yet a lot of good came from it. I'm not a huge holiday person myself so unless it's Christmas I will pretty do the bare minimum and try to make it feel like any normal day. My way of doing this on Easter was to work a full shift of my job then go see a friend I hadn't seen in years that just moved close again. His day was pretty much spent sleeping on the couch. Seriously for hours. I won't lie and sugar coat it. I was pretty pissed off. I would have loved if he had lent a hand around the house to help me catch up with all the daily chores and before I left to go see my friend who I was planning to visit for just a couple hours I told him he needed to pull his weight a little more around here. I was not as kind as I could have been in asking and I guess the way I asked and told him how I was feeling cut him pretty deep. I didn't realize this until I wa…

Make the Screaming Go Away

My husband struggles on a daily basis with hearing screaming and sounds of battle in his head. He may have left the battlefield under medical retirement after his injuries but the war NEVER left him. Thousands of times I've heard him say he just wants to go back. Psychologically I think it's because if he did the sounds and voices in his head would be drown out by actual battle in its physical form. Seeing it physically would probably make him feel more sane. I can understand that need to just feel sane again. He and I talk quite openly about things that have happened to him and things he's witnessed from seeing his fellow soldiers wounded or killed to seeing innocent people victims of their own countries violence from mutilations up to and including losing their lives. Neither of us believe that the human psyche is meant to withstand this kind of mental anguish. The mind breaks, and it does not heal easily. That is when these soldiers start dealing with PTSD. I know he wo…

My Sheepdog

If you are the wife of a soldier then it stands to reason that you would already know what the term "Sheepdog" means when referring to a soldier. For those of you who don't know the term let me give you a description.

A sheepdog is one who protects the flock from the wolf. Whatever form that wolf takes be it foreign or domestic the sheepdog will put its own life on the line to protect the flock from danger.

Every sheepdog has a little wolf in them to allow them to battle that danger when it comes. They are a rare breed and the level of love that a sheepdog has for his flock is unsurpassed. They see our weakness and naturally desire to guard us from dangers that we cannot fight on our own or do not have the strength to overcome.

Many a sheepdog born is sworn into the US military as my husband was. Many are not but still protect and love just as much in their own ways.

Sheepdogs will stand out in the cold of night, in the rain, in sweltering heat and against insurmountable…

The Reason Behind This Blog

Welcome to the Shepherdess Watch blog! The creation of this blog is because as the wife of a soldier I am finding it not so easy to locate support or understanding for the situations that our family finds itself in while helping my wonderful husband through his PTSD caused by combat. This blog is meant to not only give support ideas to family and friends of Veterans in need but also just to help you know that there are others out there just like you fighting to keep your soldier mentally well and happy. I hope that my writing and my insights into my husbands trials with PTSD will give you something, anything to make your life easier to cope with. I would also welcome any of you to reach out to me at if you have any questions or just need to talk to someone in the same situation.

The Shepherdess